Updated: May 24
All of us will experience (true) pain in our lifetime at some point. Some, more than others. As I was meditating today I focused on my desire to grow. What was interesting, is that the focus on growth actually physically hurt. I spent the majority of the meditation with slight head and body aches. As soon as the meditation ended I experienced instant relief from the pains and in this moment the manifestation of my meditation became clear; while pain and healing take time, growth is actually instant.
Those initiated to self often spend lots of time exploring healing as pain has already been identified, and accepted. This is where therapy, deeper spiritual understanding, self-mastery through self-love, and auditing our circles of influence come into play. We spend so much time in the pain and healing phases that we can forget all about the phase of growth. The truth is, while we are in pain, and while we are healing we are experiencing growth over and over again as growth is simply a moment. Similar to the relief I felt at the end of my meditation today. Yes, getting to that moment takes time. But the actual growth itself happens in an instant. That instant is when you first learn to surrender. From there, it is either the acceptance of surrender or, the fear of it. If acceptance is truly chosen, healing is complete and growth has occurred. However, here is where it gets tricky. Growth is an uncharted universe. It doesn't have the same blueprint or methods of support as pain and healing. You become a full fledge creator of your own existence and trusting yourself becomes paramount. Others can provide support, even encouragement, but the path is officially yours. Not to walk, but to imagine, architect, and execute.
I realized that many of us never accept/achieve all the stages (pain, healing, growth) fully. Or, if we do, there’s another aspect of pain that occurs which resets the entire cycle. I.E. a “failed” relationship, unsuccessful business venture, inability to accept surrender, etc. This makes me wonder, are the states a valid construct? Should I view things more as a spectrum and or continuum as opposed to a step by step? Funny thing about this meditation is that while the pain immediately subsided, I now am experiencing pain, uncertainty. At this moment I surrender to, “it is ok to be uncertain”, and I am left with creating the growth it provided.